25

In a few days I will be turning 25. Do I feel 25? Sure, I guess the feeling of 25 is left for me to define… so I can’t feel anything other than. I’m not sure where I saw myself being when I reached 25…. I guess I could attribute that to a shortcoming in my goal setting, a memory lapse, or perhaps a remolding of my expectations. Certainly if you had asked me a year and a half ago for my definition of self and where that self would be it would have involved another part of me, a part that doesn’t exist in my world anymore. Does it still get me down? Some days, but I’ve spent that year and a half that has passed regaining my sense of my whole self that isn’t dependent on any other person. I guess you could say that I’ve spent the last year and a half trying to remember what is was before falling in love that allowed me to maintain a healthy definition of my independent self and how to get that understanding back while fighting the sadness every day.

I took for granted the people and things that brought me joy, because I felt so strongly that my main source of joy had been swept out from under me. Sometimes you learn the hard way to appreciate every moment you have with every single person, but at the same time, I learned who those valuable people really were in my life. I grappled with so many conflicting feelings and concerns… I questioned if my ability to trust would be affected, namely if I would struggle with the constant fear that something could be amiss in a relationship without my awareness. Through my confusion I found myself reliving the past, wondering if certain things were done differently if it would have changed the outcome… until I finally accepted that in the grand scheme of things, those little things weren’t big enough things to have mattered.. that this was the right outcome and that trading all of the pain that came as a result of the loss could never have been worth losing the chance to be in the place that I’m at now.

So here I am… happy to be turning 25, excited to see what the rest of life has in store for me and grateful for everything life has granted me- especially the amazing friends and family that have enriched my life so greatly.

Sometimes, like Regina Spektor put is so nicely, some experiences are like forgetting the words to your favorite song… but sometimes that’s the way it should be.
Love love love!

From Paris to the Swiss Alps

Its been almost a year and I realized that I haven't even made it through 1/10th of blogging my travels around Europe. I left off on my last entry in Paris, from Paris we headed to the Swiss Alps (one of the most breathtaking places of the entire trip). On our first full day in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland a few of us took the train up to Jungfraujoch, the highest peak in Europe. While up there we went ziplining and played in the snow!

At the top of the mountain we made our way through an awesome ice palace (inside of the glacier) consisting of all kinds of fun ice sculptures like my polar man.

One of the most amazing aspects of the trip (beyond visiting some of the coolest cities in Europe), was the time that the tour group got to bond with one another. The night life is not something to be forgotten in all of these nifty little cities. Many of the campgrounds that we stayed at had a bar, pub, or club on site so that all 48 of us could get together and play silly games like chicken masks! One nifty aspect about this particular pub was that people come from all over the world and write notes on coasters (or personal items they don't mind parting with) and hang them in the bar... so hopefully my note has been found well and maybe one day I can go back and read it myself!

Whenever people ask me what my favorite cities were on the trip (a question that is nearly impossible to answer), I always mention that Lauterbrunnen is at the top of my list (along with Tyrol, Austria for similar reasons). Beyond the obvious reasons of it being such a jaw dropping city, it was one of my personal favorites because of the limitless outdoor activities that can be done there (mountain biking, horse back riding, canyoning, skiing, or even just spending a day on the lake in Interlaken, just to name a few). It is definitely on the top of my list of places to travel back to because we had such a short time there and there are so many more activities I'd love to do.

I apologize if this entry was a bit lack luster, I will try to liven the next one up which won't be difficult to do as I blog about our trip to Nice and Monaco!