A renewed sense of optimism

I've been really bad about writing in my blog since I started it back in June. I think its because I fear that I'll get too personal or because I think of so many things to write about that I don't know where to begin. I was recently reminded by a good friend that I encourage others to be candid, so I'll try not to hold back.

I intended to write a blog right after I returned from my tour of Europe, but writer's block kicked in and I still haven't found the time to fill everyone in on the highlights of my travels (it will take ages of course!). I had a lot of time to reflect while on my travels.. and even the months following...

Periodically I listen to messages that I've saved in my voicemail. I received one from an amazing family member months back, after I was struggling through some tough times with the passing of two friends and a heart that I thought would never heal. In the meantime I was trying to find some joy in obtaining a master's degree while surrounded by so many amazing family members and friends. The voicemail said, "I hope you get your energy back, your strength back, and your smile back." I still get teary-eyed when I listen to that message.

So here I am. Strength, smile, and energy- check. Some days I still find myself confused, sad, and hurt, but I accept the pain and move on. I still try to understand, as much as I know it doesn't make a difference, I think its just in my nature to try to find answers. And maybe I had the answers all along... it just took looking inside myself... and facing some realities that I wasn't ready to face.

[I wrote this blog a few weeks ago, but decided to go ahead and publish it in an attempt to motivate myself to keep writing and submitting my entries on a regular basis. :) ]